Giving Thanks and Expressing Gratitude

Original published Meeting Focus Blog

Giving Thanks and Expressing Gratitude

Funnya blog of thanks should have been easy to write. As I drafted it, I realized how much more complicated it was. Having been brought up to say “thank you” and express gratitude in many ways for the smallest act, the holiday of Thanksgiving and this blog are another opportunity to express thanks, although not the only day to do so. 

I hope leading by example, we each can find ways to thank others on a daily basis.

Thanksgiving, as many of us know it, is a particularly U.S.-centric holiday.* It is one about which my feelings are murky: once a day of family, friends and strangers around a table or of volunteering time to help others, it now is more about shopping and the day after, more shopping, and about eating and football. This year, I’ve read how many are worried about political conversations and fear of flying mashed potatoes.

Were we having a meal with others, the company would be carefully vetted especially for this day of thanks and giving. I hope that you too will think about those to whom you give thanks and will offer it to them and in the space below for comments.

My thanks go to many:

  • To those whose jobs require that they work on Thanksgiving including those in our industry who will toil much of the day to clean, cook and serve guests. And just as I do when I stay in hotels, a note of thanks with a tip (for me, it’s at the end of the stay because I do not have my room cleaned daily) is a way to thank those whose work is back-breaking when they clean hotel rooms.
  • The many organizations and people who give to those who do not have what most of us have: shelter and food. In this time of great homelessness and hunger, I hope that you will find organizations like Rock and Wrap it Up (with special thanks to Jim Spellos for his work to spread the word) that can help your meetings share your abundance.
  • Colleagues who read and comment and thank me for the help from this blog, webinars, other teaching; those who have come to me for career and job advice, about ethics dilemmas and how to better manage risk—thank you for entrusting me with your learning.
  • Kiki, Shelly, Jeff, Elizabeth and Sherry for ensuring your values and your actions are in sync.
  • The kind people of the Grand Rapids CVB who, seeing me struggling to find a meeting room and avoid steps for a recent industry meeting gave me hugs, guidance and then brought me a cuppa coffee. You always make me feel better!
  • My parents, of blessed memory, who gave me, by word and deed, values that drive me to be kind, to learn, to help, to accept and embrace others who may be unlike me, and who lived by example.
  • My friends and family who give so much love and support—with a special thank you to my husband, Joel Levy, who I met in an AOL writers chat room (early social media!) years ago and with whom I’ll have, when you read this, just celebrated 20 years of marriage. And childhood and still friends Kathy, Kathy, Maggie, Sarita and Vickie, who remain steadfast in my life sharing values and caring deeply about others as we did then and still do.
  • Colleagues who set bad examples (of not thanking others, or writing bad contracts; of setting rooms in straight rows, and other “meeting crimes”) so that I can remember to do better—thank you! Learning from bad examples as well as good (“Seating Matters”** by Dr. Paul Radde for example) helps all of us learn.
  • A friend named “Susan” who sent me the perfect post-election gift—you rock! I’ve checked with four “Susans” in my life and all swear it wasn’t them. If you see this, ‘fess up! I am so grateful for the note and laughter!
  • To the industry associations, especially MPI and PMPI, in which I got involved when I moved to DC in 1978, and was afforded the opportunity for leadership by the late Bill Myles that propelled me within a few years to be Chapter President. To you, Doug Heath (MPI’s second CEO) who gave me opportunities for which I am still grateful.
  • Without Doug appointing me to serve on the CIC Board for MPI, I’d have never met Cricket Park (now the Reverend Cricket Park) who, after the ADA passed, came to a CIC Board meeting to teach us about meetings and accommodation. Who knew then how a) I’d need it for my own life and b) the importance it would make to helping others. Thanks, Crick! You continue to rock the world!
  • Deborah Sexton, CEO of PCMA, thank you for acts of kindness, great and gracious.
  • Immense gratitude to the many people from whom I’ve learned—public school teachers in Dayton, Ohio (you, especially, Stan Blum, Jim Payne, Bing Davis, and the late Lenore Clippinger), industry folks like Howard Feiertag from whom I learned some of the best negotiating skills; industry attorneys who helped me learn from their words and my work negotiating with, or testifying as an expert witness for, them; clients, beginning in 1981 when I started my business, who entrust me with their meetings and staff training; And to you, Karen Mulhauser who hired me in my first meeting planner-with-a-title job in 1978, how did you know?
  • The animal shelters (two that have now combined into one) from which we adopted our dear kitties—rescue is best!—are owed thanks for allowing me to learn to love and care for pets and laugh at how much I didn’t know about cats!
  • Those who are speaking out about racism, misogony, Islamophobia, homophobia and other hate have my gratitude. Meetings have always meant a way to bring people together. Now, we have even greater reasons to use our skills to bridge chasms opened by the last U.S. election and by the hate throughout the world directed at refugees and others. You, Vic Basile, when you were HRC(then F)’s ED and hired me to do the events; you, Bob Witeck, who became my friend when I moved here and have continued to help guide companies including those in the hospitality industry to be inclusive; you, Charles Chan Massey, for your work with the Personal Stories Project; you, Gaby Pacheco [just one link; search for more about her and her remarkable life and work] who included me and have taught me so much  more about what it means to be an immigrant and how I have a responsibility to speak out for inclusion.
  • President Obama and his family for leading with head and heart, with empathy, and for being role models for families everywhere. Partisan or not, I know a good family when I see them! Thanks too for showing the world that “Washington” is not evil—that the District of Columbia, a place I’ve called home since 1978, is a diverse and wonderful place with museums, parks and real people, not just politicians.
  • The editors of a meetings publication that gave me my first industry writing opportunities, that’s you, Tony Rutigliano and Dave McCann, in particular, who believed that because I could teach I could write. You helped me hone my skills.
  • My amazing editor, Eric Andersen, at Meetings Today, who not only ensures that it all makes sense but looks good too and Tyler Davidson, content editor for Meetings Today, my thanks for a platform to teach and learn more.
  • The civil rights and social justice icons who lead by example, some putting their lives on the line, two of whom (Joan Trumpauer Mulholland and Rep. John Lewis (D-GA)) I finally had an opportunity to meet, will forever have my thanks. You continue to give me and others courage to speak and act.

My list, in no particular order, is not inclusive. To quote a former presidential candidate, it takes a village, and in my life, my gratitude extends to an immense village. In the past few years, so many industry colleagues and others in my life and the lives of those I love have died. My Thanksgiving wish is that rather than waiting until someone dies to express how much they mean to you, the gratitude you have for their work and examples, please do it now. Start below in the comments—it will encourage others to say thank you and for our list to extend the feeling of Thanksgiving beyond the day.

*Never having lived in Canada or observing Canadian Thanksgiving, I was interested to read about the similarities and differences.

**Although I wrote the foreword for Paul Radde’s “Seating Matters”, I was not nor am I compensated.

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